The apartment hunt... wait, I totally wrote on this topic a year ago.

Well, here we are again, the wonderful apartment hunt. This adventure has made me ask some serious questions:

Is a dishwasher necessary if the apartment has adorable art-deco door knobs?

Why do all leasing agents have the same, huge, swirly handwriting?

Will my sofa fit in the door?

Have any of the residents had [serious] problems with roaches? Why are you looking at me like that? Yes or no? I don't need a bar graph.

Does it have a washer or dryer? [No] Does it have connections? [No] Okay, then can I at least have a washboard and a clothing wringer?

Why is my lack of boyfriend relevant? Stop dodging my questions about the utility bills!

Will the bed fit without having to saw it in half?

Why does one need a 4x4 study? With 2 walk in closets?

Who let you drive a golf-cart?

Why are you so excited about the squirrels and pigeons that live on the property? You act as though this is Yellowstone.